It's that time again. You know, when you start to hear all of the ways people are going to make next year better. If you are like me, you find yourself chuckling at some of the extreme goals of others (shhh, don't tell my secret). That said, it does usually cause me to self-reflect as well. I begin to think about the past year realizing how one single year can bring about such a huge change to some and remain relatively unchanged for others. Either way, the idea of a fresh start is appealing. So, is a resolution worth it?
Let's break this down into a few more questions:
1. Is it possible to keep a resolution?
2. How does one create a strong, focused resolution?
3. How long does it take for new behavior to stick?
4. How is success measured?
How to Develop a Resolution:
1. Be Realistic & Specific: One way to increase your chances of success is to make sure your resolution is realistic. Trying to shed some weight? Maybe 60 pounds by January 31st isn't such a great goal to set. Why? It just isn't realistic. Instead aim to lose 1-2 pounds per week, which may not seem like a lot, but it really is HUGE. Remember to be specific in your goals too! Want to increase your income? Setting a goal to be a millionaire next year when you currently earn 30k, isn't the wisest. Instead, think of ways to increase your monthly income by a few hundred through cutting out mindless spending. The goal can be expanded over time. Think baby steps.
2. Plan: Consider your goals for a few weeks before putting them into action. Think about the necessary steps to achieve those goals and how you will implement those necessary steps. I warn against expecting a resolution to stick simply because you wake up on January 1st feeling refreshed without any prior planning. As a mom, I have to shape my goals around my children and their schedules. If I want to add exercise to my routine, I need to consider the timing of adding something new without feeling burned out. One thing I always tell myself is to leave the margins of life of blank. When you write on paper, think actual notebook paper, you aren't supposed to fill the margins with words. This is so you can make notes, adequately read the writing, and avoid feeling overwhelmed by the words on the page. Take that concept and apply it to life. Leave the margins open so you can take notes, read your story, and prevent yourself from feeling overwhelmed.
3. Think Happy Thoughts: This may sound cheesy, but your mind truly has amazing powers. Positive thinking GREATLY impacts your ability to reach a goal. Why? You spend time thinking about it, picturing your life in that light, and making decisions that increase your chances of success. It isn't magic. It's simply a rewiring of your brain and how it thinks. You have the power to tell yourself you will reach your goal AND that you deserve to see that success OR that you can't and don't.
4. Pros & Cons List:Think of how your life will look WHEN you see success in achieving your resolution. Then, write a list of all pros and cons between your life now and your life then. This provides a visual to the many benefits. It also provides a visual to sacrifices and changes needed. If the cons seem too great or you simply aren't ready to make certain sacrifices, perhaps, it isn't the right resolution for now.
5. Talk About Your Resolution: Get the opinion of someone who knows you... really knows you. Ask them if they think this is a wise, realistic, specific, and relevant resolution. Once you hear their opinion, actually spend time considering their thoughts. They know you, possibly, better than you know yourself. This holds true for my best friend, specifically. She knows me better than I know me. Better than anyone knows me. So, I should probably open my ears when she gives me an opinion on something important... even if her opinion isn't exactly what I want to hear.
6. Reward Each Baby Step: Think Pavlov's dogs study. In case you haven't taken a Psych course (or didn't pay attention), this is when Pavolv, a Russian physiologist, conditioned dogs to salivate to the sound of a bell ringing just as they did when they saw food. His concept of conditioning works on humans too. If we receive a reward for something, we are more likely to act in a way that will get us that reward. However, do not select a reward that contradicts your resolution. Trying to lose weight? Do not give yourself an entire day of eating cakes and pies. It will throw off your hard work delaying your progress and negatively impact your motivation. Trying to save money? Don't say you can buy yourself a Michael Kors bag whenever you save $200. See where I am going? Be sure to reward yourself in a way that will condition your brain without harming your progress.
7. Track Progress: The BEST way to success is to have baby steps. During the planning phase, layout a potential time frame through those baby steps, but maintain an open mind knowing we may not always hit each target in the exact time we had hoped. Rome wasn't built in a day and you won't accomplish your resolution that quickly either. Your steps should be small, positive, and measurable. Over time, those small steps will lead to something big.
8. Don't Beat Yourself Up: No one is perfect. We will never have a perfect path. Do not aim for perfection or you will fail. Aim for progress. Strive to climb upward. Work on being better than you are right now. Sometimes life can cause us to backslide. That's okay, but you can't stay there. Keep climbing.
9. Stick To It: Be mindful of how long it takes for something new to be part of who we are as a person. I remember my health teacher saying it takes 21 days for something to become a habit and to commit for 22 days. Once you reach 22 days, commit to 6 months because that is how long it takes to become part of your personality.
10. Keep Trying: Did you lose focus and fall off the wagon? That's okay. Restart by committing to 24 hours, then 48 hours, and so on. For some goals, we need smaller commitments to prevent ourselves from feeling overwhelmed. That's okay. In the words of Dory, "Just keep swimming." (I have kids, Disney quotes get me through the moments.)
Word of the Year:
Once you have a set resolution, I suggest finding a theme through selecting a short, focused word of the year. The best way to find a relevant and encouraging word is through jotting down a few and trusting your gut. My word of the year for 2023 is align. It is simple, it is easy to remember, and it is meaningful to me.
Maintaining Focus on Your Word:
1. Make your word visible each and every day.Write it on your mirror. Set it as your alarm's title. Reflect on it each night.
2. Form affirmations using your word. Once again, I am mentioning the power of mindset. Confidence breeds success. Be confident in your abilities. Align your goals with your mindset. Even through the dark and challenging times, a confident and focus mind is a powerful thing.
Whether you decide to join me in creating a New Year Resolution or not, I wish you all a happy and safe holiday season!
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New Year Resolution
It's that time again. You know, when you start to hear all of the ways people are going to make next year better. If you are like me, you find yourself chuckling at some of the extreme goals of others (shhh, don't tell my secret). That said, it does usually cause me to self-reflect as well. I begin to think about the past year realizing how one single year can bring about such a huge change to some and remain relatively unchanged for others. Either way, the idea of a fresh start is appealing. So, is a resolution worth it?
Let's break this down into a few more questions:
1. Is it possible to keep a resolution?
2. How does one create a strong, focused resolution?
3. How long does it take for new behavior to stick?
4. How is success measured?
How to Develop a Resolution:
1. Be Realistic & Specific: One way to increase your chances of success is to make sure your resolution is realistic. Trying to shed some weight? Maybe 60 pounds by January 31st isn't such a great goal to set. Why? It just isn't realistic. Instead aim to lose 1-2 pounds per week, which may not seem like a lot, but it really is HUGE. Remember to be specific in your goals too! Want to increase your income? Setting a goal to be a millionaire next year when you currently earn 30k, isn't the wisest. Instead, think of ways to increase your monthly income by a few hundred through cutting out mindless spending. The goal can be expanded over time. Think baby steps.
2. Plan: Consider your goals for a few weeks before putting them into action. Think about the necessary steps to achieve those goals and how you will implement those necessary steps. I warn against expecting a resolution to stick simply because you wake up on January 1st feeling refreshed without any prior planning. As a mom, I have to shape my goals around my children and their schedules. If I want to add exercise to my routine, I need to consider the timing of adding something new without feeling burned out. One thing I always tell myself is to leave the margins of life of blank. When you write on paper, think actual notebook paper, you aren't supposed to fill the margins with words. This is so you can make notes, adequately read the writing, and avoid feeling overwhelmed by the words on the page. Take that concept and apply it to life. Leave the margins open so you can take notes, read your story, and prevent yourself from feeling overwhelmed.
3. Think Happy Thoughts: This may sound cheesy, but your mind truly has amazing powers. Positive thinking GREATLY impacts your ability to reach a goal. Why? You spend time thinking about it, picturing your life in that light, and making decisions that increase your chances of success. It isn't magic. It's simply a rewiring of your brain and how it thinks. You have the power to tell yourself you will reach your goal AND that you deserve to see that success OR that you can't and don't.
4. Pros & Cons List: Think of how your life will look WHEN you see success in achieving your resolution. Then, write a list of all pros and cons between your life now and your life then. This provides a visual to the many benefits. It also provides a visual to sacrifices and changes needed. If the cons seem too great or you simply aren't ready to make certain sacrifices, perhaps, it isn't the right resolution for now.
5. Talk About Your Resolution: Get the opinion of someone who knows you... really knows you. Ask them if they think this is a wise, realistic, specific, and relevant resolution. Once you hear their opinion, actually spend time considering their thoughts. They know you, possibly, better than you know yourself. This holds true for my best friend, specifically. She knows me better than I know me. Better than anyone knows me. So, I should probably open my ears when she gives me an opinion on something important... even if her opinion isn't exactly what I want to hear.
6. Reward Each Baby Step: Think Pavlov's dogs study. In case you haven't taken a Psych course (or didn't pay attention), this is when Pavolv, a Russian physiologist, conditioned dogs to salivate to the sound of a bell ringing just as they did when they saw food. His concept of conditioning works on humans too. If we receive a reward for something, we are more likely to act in a way that will get us that reward. However, do not select a reward that contradicts your resolution. Trying to lose weight? Do not give yourself an entire day of eating cakes and pies. It will throw off your hard work delaying your progress and negatively impact your motivation. Trying to save money? Don't say you can buy yourself a Michael Kors bag whenever you save $200. See where I am going? Be sure to reward yourself in a way that will condition your brain without harming your progress.
7. Track Progress: The BEST way to success is to have baby steps. During the planning phase, layout a potential time frame through those baby steps, but maintain an open mind knowing we may not always hit each target in the exact time we had hoped. Rome wasn't built in a day and you won't accomplish your resolution that quickly either. Your steps should be small, positive, and measurable. Over time, those small steps will lead to something big.
8. Don't Beat Yourself Up: No one is perfect. We will never have a perfect path. Do not aim for perfection or you will fail. Aim for progress. Strive to climb upward. Work on being better than you are right now. Sometimes life can cause us to backslide. That's okay, but you can't stay there. Keep climbing.
9. Stick To It: Be mindful of how long it takes for something new to be part of who we are as a person. I remember my health teacher saying it takes 21 days for something to become a habit and to commit for 22 days. Once you reach 22 days, commit to 6 months because that is how long it takes to become part of your personality.
10. Keep Trying: Did you lose focus and fall off the wagon? That's okay. Restart by committing to 24 hours, then 48 hours, and so on. For some goals, we need smaller commitments to prevent ourselves from feeling overwhelmed. That's okay. In the words of Dory, "Just keep swimming." (I have kids, Disney quotes get me through the moments.)
Word of the Year:
Once you have a set resolution, I suggest finding a theme through selecting a short, focused word of the year. The best way to find a relevant and encouraging word is through jotting down a few and trusting your gut. My word of the year for 2023 is align. It is simple, it is easy to remember, and it is meaningful to me.
Maintaining Focus on Your Word:
1. Make your word visible each and every day. Write it on your mirror. Set it as your alarm's title. Reflect on it each night.
2. Form affirmations using your word. Once again, I am mentioning the power of mindset. Confidence breeds success. Be confident in your abilities. Align your goals with your mindset. Even through the dark and challenging times, a confident and focus mind is a powerful thing.
Whether you decide to join me in creating a New Year Resolution or not, I wish you all a happy and safe holiday season!
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